blog post #1

Clare Blomberg 

Blog Post #1

Social Media & Dating

Texting and social media accounts have allowed for the dating scene to turn into a world of hook ups with no need for commitment. As a society we rarely see people participating in what we would consider to be a “traditional” date, for example it’s rare for someone to ask you out to dinner or see if you'd like to catch a movie. Coming from a college student in the thick of it all, I can almost promise you that the closest thing you'll get to being ask on a “traditional” or “proper” date around here is being whether or not you want to come over to “netflix and chill,” or even better let’s strictly “hang out.” All of these terms leading to one simple concept, of a hook up. “Researchers have noted that the term “hookup” is intentionally vague so that people can maintain or inflate their reputations” 

The question that remains unanswered, and probably will for a long time, is when we took this turn for the worst as a society, and who is at fault for letting the idea of no commitment within relationships to exist. There is no doubt that there are many contributing factors to the demise of the “traditional” date. We can officially allow ourselves to no longer consider texting as a benefit to our societies communication skills. 

We absolutely can argue that texting has ruined the concept of one-on-one communication and the general idea of what it means to get to know someone and talk. “Dating culture has evolved to a cycle of text messages, each one requiring the code-breaking skills of a cold war spy to interpret,” said Shani Silver (Williams, “The End of Courtship”). 

As a society we have made it nearly impossible to understand each others feelings because instead of having face-to-face conversations, we choose to communicate using a text message. A text message that can be interpreted in multiple different ways, by different people. So therefore, instead of focusing on the words, we analyze every possible meaning the text message has, meanwhile in reality all the text message actually says is “hello.” Creating another possibility for complications within communication where it’s not necessary, all because we choose to believe the idea that text messaging is actually bettering our overall communication as a society.

Arguments can be made either way, whether or not the hookup culture existing today thrives because of men or women. Some people tend to argue that although men may do best with this way of life, women have done everything they can to benefit as well. Now that more women are making major professional developments and holding higher positions of power within their workplaces, they are pushing the idea of “settling down” aside in order to consider themselves successful. 

The article written by Hanna Rosin entertains and supports the idea of woman using the hookup culture to potentially benefit their professional lives and according to the research it has proven that woman tend to be more successful than men in the workplace more often in recent times. “To put it crudely, feminist progress right now largely depends on the existence of the hookup culture. And to a surprising degree, it is womennot men- who are perpetuating the culture, especially in school, cannily manipulating it to make space for their success, always keeping their own ends in mind” (Rosin, “BOYS ON THE SIDE”). 

This mere statements have lead women to start acting just like their male co-workers in the business world. They are strictly hooking up in order to reach a certain level of intimacy without having to commit fully to a relationship. Since women are benefiting from the idea of the hookup culture, and not just the men, women are somewhat contributing to the hookup culture being able to thrive. Since women are allowing the traditional idea of a date to disappear they are accepting and supporting the hookup culture.

As a society we have also welcomed the idea of social media as an outlet and resource. We use these social media accounts to put ourselves out there and allow for people to enter into our lives without actually having to have a face-to-face interaction. It’s an interesting concept to grasp that people can feel like they know you without having to actually ever meet you. 

Social media, such as Instagram and Facebook as well as dating sites or “apps” such as Tinder allow you to share, what you want to be known for, with your choice of followers or friends. Social media outlets allow for you to reach many people at one time. The idea of social media gives you a glimpse into a persons “life” so you might even narrow down your choices of dating prospects before you even get the chance to meet them. This seems to be a smart idea, using our resources to help us better ourselves. The issue that remains is the idea that you may not meet someone strictly because you didn’t like their Facebook page or you swiped left on Tinder. The first impression of someones social media accounts actually mean more than you could imagine in todays world. We are choosing to automatically eliminate a potential partner based off of what that person chooses to share with the social media world, rather than getting to know them on a deeper level. Instead of getting to know a person, we choose to judge that person based on their looks, or what they appear to stand for via their social media accounts. More often than not there is more to a person than what they choose to share with cyberspace. 

In todays dating world we choose to see things on a superficial level rather than actually using the opportunity college life brings you, living close to peers who are ultimately there to achieve the same goals, we take advantage of each others feelings and fulfill each others romantic or sexual needs in order to feel loved without the commitment of being in a romantic relationship. 

Unfortunately, the hookup culture seems to be a trend that may never stop within the walls of college dorms. Although we can now acknowledge that it is not just men, or just women, contributing to the success of the hookup culture, we have all found the advantages and disadvantages and have chosen to allow the hookup culture to thrive based on the benefits we as individuals have experienced. 

Works Cited 

1.  Dylan Selterman, Dr. ""Hooking Up" – What Is It Exactly? - | - Science of Relationships.” "Hooking Up" – What Is It Exactly? - | - Science of Relationships. N.p., n.d. 

Web. 07 Mar. 2016.

2.  Rosin, Hanna. "BOYS ON THE SIDE." The Atlantic Monthly 09 2012: 54-9. ProQuest. Web. 7 Mar. 2016 .

3.  Williams, Alex. "The End of Courtship?" The New York Times. The New York Times, 12 Jan. 2013. Web. 07 Mar. 2016.